If 4Kids got Evangelion
by PenGator3
Summary: 4Kids has now done it big time! Title says all...!


**Author's Note:** After two agonizing months, I have finally came up with a fic you'll like to read; hope it helps... Enjoy!!!

**Disclaimer:** Evangelion belongs to Hideaki Anno, not me!

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The title Neon Genesis Evangelion is too religious and enigmatic and will be changed to Robby Robot.

Evangelion is about the (post-)apocalypse, as in the end of days. The bringing about of the destruction of mankind is dangerous to children. This series shall from here on be a hero story.

The story will take place in New York in the year 2070 not Tokyo in the year 2015.

The main characters' name are too foreign and will be renamed into English along with their traits and back stories:

Shinji Ikari - Shawn Isaac - 16 - His mother was abducted by alien when he was four but he was really sad that his father left him with his uncle. He became a wimp during high school.

Asuka Langley Soryu - Annie Langley Sanders - 16 - Her mother went insane, becoming a danger to herself and had to be sent to a asylum for her safety. Pilots E-Droid to bring her mother back. Became somewhat antisocial.

Rei Ayanami - Rain Allison - 16 - She was taken in by Shawn's father after she woke up with no memories.

Toji Suzuhara - Tony Smith - 16 - The school bully who Shawn fears because Tony is jealous of him. Has a crush on Holly. Tough gangster wannabe.

Hikari Horaki - Holly Hawthorne - 13 - Class president who prides herself for it. A friend of Annie.

Kensuke Aida - Kenneth Allen - 14 - A geek who loves laser weaponry and recording videos

Kaoru Nagisa - Haze Allison - 17 - The big brother of Rain.

Gendo Ikari - Gordon Isaac - 38 - The father of Shawn who wants him to save the world so he can rescue his wife.

Kozo Fuyutsuki - Kolby Freeman - 57 - Once a college professor who saw Gordon's wife-to-be as her protégé (not as a girlfriend).

Misato Katsuragi - Marilyn Kelly - 24 - She saw her father abducted by aliens but was spared from that fate. A big fan of Annie Oakley who drinks lots of bug juice instead of beer who carries a laser pistol (not a gun).

Ritsuko Akagi - Riley Alcester - 40 - Sent to live with her aunt after her mother was kidnapped by bandits during Second Impact. Met Marilyn when she was 34 as a teacher.

Ryoji Kaji - Rondo McCormick - 27 - Happy-go-lucky gardener who has a vendor stand where he sells watermelons. Has a jaded history so far.

Makoto Hyuga - Maxwell Harrison - mid 20s - A nerd who has an excessive crush on Marilyn who doesn't notice it. Also reads comics and talks about being a comic book artist.

Maya Ibuki - May Irving - 21 - A know-it-all who despises combat of any form whatsoever and looks up to Riley as a friend. Most outspoken.

Shigeru Aoba - Steven Seafront - 23 - Former guitarist who joined Nerv to make ends meet after his band were abducted by aliens. Talks about his old band.

Keel Lorenz - Keith Logan - 55 - Mysterious man who ages rapidly.

The titular Eva Unit 01 will be named Robby, 00 will be Zilch, 02 will be Reddy, and 04 will be Toby.

The angels shall be called alien invaders but their names will be changed also:

Sachiel - Sartorius

Shamshel - Shades

Ramiel - Thor (war diamond)

Gaghiel - Agnes (whale)

Israfel - Splicer

Sandalphon - Alexandrian

Matarael - Mata (giant spider)

Sahaquiel - Saharan (giant bat)

Iruel - ??? (mere computer virus)

Leliel - Leela (Floating black orb)

Bardiel - Bradley

Zeruel - Dozle

Arael - Armourius

Armisael - Alzheima

Tabris - Tabitha

Rain will have more screen time and will speak more often than the original.

Haze is straight not gay…(no relationships whatsoever)!!

Second Impact is caused by global warming, not the discovery of Adam.

The cries of cicadas will be removed due to creepiness.

Terminal Dogma will be known as the Forbidden Zone and scenes with Lilith present will be removed due to religious resemblance. Heaven's Door will be nicknamed the Accursed Gate of Darkness.

Nude characters will be either covered up by white cloths or swimsuits; Rondo and Marilyn's sex scene will be removed.

Marilyn's Iron Cross pendant will be turned into a Onyx Pendant.

The Lance of Longinus will be turned into a giant suction dart.

Annie, will become blind instead of reliving her traumatic past; also, Handel's Messiah will be changed.

Rain's a clone so whenever she gets destroyed she'll be alive; but, the scene that shows her true origins will be removed.

Episodes one and two will be fused together; the same should go for five and six along with thirteen and fourteen as well as nineteen and twenty especially twenty-five and twenty-six. Episode eighteen will be removed, however.

Although the humans can't be seen dead, all blood and gore will be airbrushed; also, Dozle will turn into a giant birthday cake while being eaten by Robby.

The End of Evangelion will be removed due to being way too violent.

Haze's death will be cut out and Robby can't grabbing him; it's too violent.

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**If that's not all, at least I gave it a shot...**


End file.
